Round 3, Thirds Vs Frankston
Def, 0 - 1
Once upon a time an expedition of this magnitude would consider a Melways your best friend, and the Nepean Highway your worst enemy.
GPS: check
Eastlink + etag: check, check (and coming from the wrong side on the Yarra, i mean CHECK!)
Steering wheel lock: check (do they even make those anymore!?!)
Clearly the FFV don't see distance as being much of a barrier either, finding a home for Frankston in our league this season. Dubbing the Pines South-East Metro though? Honestly, 'North Gippsland' would be a more accurate geographical posting.....
With Rowland handing out personalised team hoodies like the Jacks dishing off speeding tickets to spotty Franga' hoons, the boys seriously looked the part, and for large chunks of the contest genuinely looked like dismantling a very highly regarded opponent.
Missed opportunities and a couple of cruelling injuries proving the difference in a thoroughly entertaining tussle that the lads should be well proud of.
In truth, Frankston spent most of their time in possession in Ranger's half, but any serious half chances were strictly that as Central Park's steely defence didn't waver a bit.
Alex H turned right back into wing back with some probing runs out of defence, showing impressive stamina to maintain the intensity. Yonder to the other flank, and Adit had his best outing of the year to date in nullifying a much larger tag and keeping things well tidy.
Slowly, just slowly though, Rangers patiently wrestled their way into the match and begun to make attacking inroads of their own. The likes of Arash, Eamon and smiling assassin Kenji (cool name huh?) in the thick of it for the blue and whites as Brian, Stu and Gaz-bags crept into the contest in supporting roles up front.
The contest continued to see-saw, with shots at goal from Frankston resembling a Pines drive-by hooch debt, exhausting Tim in goals and the friendly locals who were regularly required to fish footballs from the neighbouring car parks, drains and even a f*cking tree at one stage!
A rare error against the run of play would give Frankston their first real scoring chance. Until this moment, nearly every attempt on goal was from afar. A change of tact would bring a change in luck though, as the Pines walked the ball in and fired at the Rangers goal from point blank range. A startled Tim in goals could only parry the ball back into the path of a support player for Frankston who seized the moment to open the scoring. The goal aside, the contest remained tight, but then.....
'CRUNCH!', just as Central Park were upping the tempo, disaster would strike. Arash, who was having a whale of a game skipped past yet another Frankston Pine and was on the cusp of sending Ranger's into attack. Why, why, why, we'll never know - but we could only watch on in bewilderment as the Pines no. 12 churned out quite possibly the dumbest challenge in footballing history. Illegal - most definitely. Dangerous - an understatement. Atomic pain for poor old Arash - a definite understatement, who lumbered over in pain using language that would make a sailor blush, declaring, perhaps prematurely, a broken ankle.
With the cast of ER and the Flying Doctors combined in the side this year, there was no shortage of medical opinion and prognosis - including one doozy from a Frankston player who's treatment entailed "giving it a rub". Christ!
Rather, we played it safe and stretchered our boy off the park for a second opinion. Fortunately that outlook was more rosy and broken bones were ruled out. Arash's day was done though, and we were down to one on the bench. From here the referree was well and truly in our favour (guilt over the feather duster yellow card?)
Impossible to pick a clear favourite to take the points, the likes of Canonball Jones, Gaz and Anthony 'Humphrey' (noisy bugger) Creswell, were beginning to drag the ascendancy Ranger's way and FINALLY getting some shots off that were a real threat.
Gaz's shot was a bullet and should've found the target, but it was Brendan 'Humphrey' (also boisterous) Smee who found himself in the best scoring position of the day timing his run to perfection. Moments away from unleashing a sure equaliser, our second helping of shit luck would then be reeled off with an almighty 'CRACK!'. Brendan, the victim of yet another clumsy and vicious challenge by none other than the 'invisible man'. Somewhere, somehow (and i'm onto my third glass of red by now, so go with me on this...) an aggrieved ex-lover could be found sitting in her/his (well i don't know do i?!) darkened suburban bedroom nursing a doll resembling our Brendan, being treated like a pin cushion. As the fabric of Brendan's lower leg would give way to the cold, sharp tack, so too would Brendan's Achilles and write off not only his day, but season as well.
Having given their stretcher away to Arash, Brendan would have to settle for the the 'house' crutches - though we were well impressed with how equip Frankston were in maiming two of our players.
It took 85minutes, but Canonball FINALLY found space to unleash one of his trademark specials bringing the absolute best out of the Pines keeper who kept Nick goalless.
That would be that though. Brendan would be fast tracked into surgery the following day in what must surely be a World Record in the public health system, whilst Arash i'm told, would steer the scalpel on one leg! That's what i call team work!
Much to like about our efforts with no remaining subs.
Crowd Pleasers
Alex H
Nick
Adit
Arash
Def, 0 - 1
Once upon a time an expedition of this magnitude would consider a Melways your best friend, and the Nepean Highway your worst enemy.
GPS: check
Eastlink + etag: check, check (and coming from the wrong side on the Yarra, i mean CHECK!)
Steering wheel lock: check (do they even make those anymore!?!)
Clearly the FFV don't see distance as being much of a barrier either, finding a home for Frankston in our league this season. Dubbing the Pines South-East Metro though? Honestly, 'North Gippsland' would be a more accurate geographical posting.....
With Rowland handing out personalised team hoodies like the Jacks dishing off speeding tickets to spotty Franga' hoons, the boys seriously looked the part, and for large chunks of the contest genuinely looked like dismantling a very highly regarded opponent.
Missed opportunities and a couple of cruelling injuries proving the difference in a thoroughly entertaining tussle that the lads should be well proud of.
In truth, Frankston spent most of their time in possession in Ranger's half, but any serious half chances were strictly that as Central Park's steely defence didn't waver a bit.
Alex H turned right back into wing back with some probing runs out of defence, showing impressive stamina to maintain the intensity. Yonder to the other flank, and Adit had his best outing of the year to date in nullifying a much larger tag and keeping things well tidy.
Slowly, just slowly though, Rangers patiently wrestled their way into the match and begun to make attacking inroads of their own. The likes of Arash, Eamon and smiling assassin Kenji (cool name huh?) in the thick of it for the blue and whites as Brian, Stu and Gaz-bags crept into the contest in supporting roles up front.
The contest continued to see-saw, with shots at goal from Frankston resembling a Pines drive-by hooch debt, exhausting Tim in goals and the friendly locals who were regularly required to fish footballs from the neighbouring car parks, drains and even a f*cking tree at one stage!
A rare error against the run of play would give Frankston their first real scoring chance. Until this moment, nearly every attempt on goal was from afar. A change of tact would bring a change in luck though, as the Pines walked the ball in and fired at the Rangers goal from point blank range. A startled Tim in goals could only parry the ball back into the path of a support player for Frankston who seized the moment to open the scoring. The goal aside, the contest remained tight, but then.....
'CRUNCH!', just as Central Park were upping the tempo, disaster would strike. Arash, who was having a whale of a game skipped past yet another Frankston Pine and was on the cusp of sending Ranger's into attack. Why, why, why, we'll never know - but we could only watch on in bewilderment as the Pines no. 12 churned out quite possibly the dumbest challenge in footballing history. Illegal - most definitely. Dangerous - an understatement. Atomic pain for poor old Arash - a definite understatement, who lumbered over in pain using language that would make a sailor blush, declaring, perhaps prematurely, a broken ankle.
With the cast of ER and the Flying Doctors combined in the side this year, there was no shortage of medical opinion and prognosis - including one doozy from a Frankston player who's treatment entailed "giving it a rub". Christ!
Rather, we played it safe and stretchered our boy off the park for a second opinion. Fortunately that outlook was more rosy and broken bones were ruled out. Arash's day was done though, and we were down to one on the bench. From here the referree was well and truly in our favour (guilt over the feather duster yellow card?)
Impossible to pick a clear favourite to take the points, the likes of Canonball Jones, Gaz and Anthony 'Humphrey' (noisy bugger) Creswell, were beginning to drag the ascendancy Ranger's way and FINALLY getting some shots off that were a real threat.
Gaz's shot was a bullet and should've found the target, but it was Brendan 'Humphrey' (also boisterous) Smee who found himself in the best scoring position of the day timing his run to perfection. Moments away from unleashing a sure equaliser, our second helping of shit luck would then be reeled off with an almighty 'CRACK!'. Brendan, the victim of yet another clumsy and vicious challenge by none other than the 'invisible man'. Somewhere, somehow (and i'm onto my third glass of red by now, so go with me on this...) an aggrieved ex-lover could be found sitting in her/his (well i don't know do i?!) darkened suburban bedroom nursing a doll resembling our Brendan, being treated like a pin cushion. As the fabric of Brendan's lower leg would give way to the cold, sharp tack, so too would Brendan's Achilles and write off not only his day, but season as well.
 |
| (you wouldn't believe some of the sh*t that came up when i knocked 'voodoo doll' into Google, the mind boggles....) |
Having given their stretcher away to Arash, Brendan would have to settle for the the 'house' crutches - though we were well impressed with how equip Frankston were in maiming two of our players.
It took 85minutes, but Canonball FINALLY found space to unleash one of his trademark specials bringing the absolute best out of the Pines keeper who kept Nick goalless.
That would be that though. Brendan would be fast tracked into surgery the following day in what must surely be a World Record in the public health system, whilst Arash i'm told, would steer the scalpel on one leg! That's what i call team work!
Much to like about our efforts with no remaining subs.
Crowd Pleasers
Alex H
Nick
Adit
Arash
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